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BestFlashEver's News

Yes, it's true.

2010-10-28 19:58:34 by BestFlashEver

I am still the best flash artist ever, in case you were wondering.

That is all.


Again.

2009-05-27 06:20:28 by BestFlashEver
Updated

Egoraptor vs. Some guy I've never heard of :

FIGHT

Update:

Well, after a long and hard-fought battle both champions have fallen. A double KO by way of mutual 69ing. Sadly, they grew too excited and after a brief sexual explosion they proceeded to choke on one another's cum.

I attempted to resuscitate them but to no avail.

RIP Shirley and Anne - you will be sorely missed.


Egoraptor is a douche

2009-05-27 04:26:17 by BestFlashEver
Updated

Egoraptor is a douche, and if you disagree, you're a douche. If you've ever voted 5 on any of his submissions, you're a douche. If you've ever given him a 10 on his reviews, you're a douche. If you've ever watched any of his garbage without wanting to kill him in a terribly cruel fashion, you're a douche.

If you want to be Egoraptor and have all the kiddy sex he gets, well, that's cool but you're still a douche.

Pretty soon you're going to be seeing his movies in theaters lined up right next to "Date Movie, Scary Movie, Epic Movie, Disaster Movie, Meet the Spartans" - cept it will be called "AWESOME MOVIE!!!!!"

Oh, if only we were so lucky. Because honestly, there's not enough entirely humorless parodies out there.

Tip for you Egoraptor - go watch some fucking Mel Brooks or Monty Python and learn what a REAL parody is. Oh, and same for "two of the six writers of Scary Movie" whoever the fuck those fucking faggots are.

P.S. - There is the enduring legend of illwillpress' account being hacked at one time. The person who hacked his account submitted some terrible fucking garbage randomass animation and guess what? It passed with over a 4.0 score - people didn't even watch it, they just instantly voted 5 because of his 'big name'. If I had to guess, I would say that half the votes you get are from people who have never seen your most recent video, they just vote 5 because OMG IT'S EGORAPTOR I WANT HIS COCK IN MY MOUTH!!!!!!111!!


...

2009-05-20 23:23:48 by BestFlashEver
Updated

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A response

2009-05-15 19:15:56 by BestFlashEver
Updated

This is a response to my good buddy Drift. Since he has banned me from commenting on his user page due to an inability to handle my flawless logic, I will post it here. Hopefully he will have the good fortune of reading it and gaining some sense of enlightenment from my words.

----------------------

Ah, Drift, your attempt at trying to emulate our intelligence is quite hilarious, if not outright deplorable. Stick to what you know : SRS BSNSS l337 sp34k. It suits you much better than typing words into an online thesaurus.

As far as me being TheElSalvador's alternate account, that is a reasonable assumption - if you're a moron. However, anyone with an ounce of intelligence or deductive reasoning would see that our writing styles, while employing a similar grasp of the English language, are entirely different.

However, all of that is beside the point. In an attempt to keep on topic, I will again rebut your arguments with a simple statement that you, my friend, are a no-talent assclone douchebag. I'm running out of ways to explain this to you in a way that your small, small brain could comprehend. It's an exercise in futility, no doubt, but an enjoyable exercise on my part.

The fact of the matter is that, as TheElSalvador has pointed out, no one has done what I have done with Flash. That would make me a truly unique individual in that sense. Therefore, my right to call you another Madness clone is entirely within reason. In all of the flashes you created and/or took part in, there is not one iota of creativity. That, as I have stated, makes you a talentless assclone.

For example, if I were to steal a stand-up comedian's joke and use a different voice when I told it, I'd still be stealing his joke. The delivery would be different, obviously, but I'd still have stolen the essential parts of the joke.

That is exactly what you do with Madness. You steal the essence, the core, of the animation and deliver it in a different fashion. You are no better than Dane Cook or Carlos Mencia - a bunch of no-talent assclown clones of their superiors.

Perhaps you can understand that analogy, and denying it in any fashion would prove worthless as it is, in your case, entirely true.

How's that for reasoning?


Masturbation etc.

2009-05-12 16:12:34 by BestFlashEver

You've probably found your way to this page through some incendiary comment I made about you, your mom, your sexuality, and/or your gay lover's sexuality.

Although, naturally, your first reaction would be to assume that I am in some way angry at you and/or the world. The truth is, I love everyone.

However, what I love more than everyone is everyone being angry. Your anger makes my penis hard. When I say something verbally abusive toward you and/or your mother, gay lover, etc. the response it will illicit is more gratifying than anything on this small, small world.

For example, when I call someone out for being an obvious faggot, there will invariably be a response from the community that is altogether negative. You will show up on my page, angrily typing slurs out in hopes of someway pushing my buttons. In reality, my friends, the only buttons you push with your angry comments are the two seated just below the base of my penis.

So, know this, as I read your angry comments I will be masturbating gleefully to the hate contained within them.


Fags.

2009-05-12 05:23:46 by BestFlashEver

Chances are if you're reading this you're probably a douchebag, or a fag. Or a douchefag. Who knows?

Anyway, my point is : fuck you.



NewgroundsDummie says:

Hello you dirtbag, :D first of all, your a sumo n****r

1.your flashes are a piece of fucking shit
2.Your a 14 little immature faggot
3.Your a douchbag
4.Fuck you
5.Grow some fucking balls and get off newgrounds
6.I will be better at flash then you will ever be.
7.I find some jealousy cause no one likes your shitty flashes, and mine got a higher score then a 1.00
8. Go to fucking hell you scrawny mother fucking fatass n****r sexual
9. Im not a racist but i wanna see how your worthless ass reacts

Tata peace you little bitch.

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You know, I always find it amusing when people say shit like, "One, you're a douchebag. Two, you're a fag. Three, you're gay." As if counting off their burns adds some dramatic impact to the lame, over-used insults they toss at you. Personally, I believe it stems from a time in their life when their parents were teaching them how to count.

While most parents would say something like "One cat! Yes, good job!" or "Two cats, you're great!"
They tell these helmet-wearing mongoloids like NewgroundsDummie "One cock! Yes, that's one cock you got in your mouth!" or "Two black balls! Yes, that's two black balls you've got in your mouth!" or "Two million! Yes, that's two million sperm you just swallowed!" Somehow NewgroundsDummie repressed these vile images and, in times of stress, counts of his homophobic slurs out of a simple, albeit repressed, emotional response.

Seriously though, NewgroundsDummie, perhaps if you'd wipe that cum out of your eye sockets you'd see that you're just another Madness clone without a single ounce of creativity other than riding on Krinkel's coattails (which thousands of other people do, so it's not really creative at all - just sad). Also, maybe if you'd stick that cock back in your mouth you won't come here and have oral queefs all over my userpage. They call it a pacifier for a reason, buddy.

In closing, I would just like to say that you, my friend, are a fag.

Farewell, mon cher.

Oh, and NewgroundsDummie was kind enough to send me his angry-face.

The geek shall inherit the world


Weak

2009-04-19 06:34:02 by BestFlashEver

ERROR - You have been temporarily banned from posting to the BBS for 3 days. You have 21 hours, 42 minutes and 42 seconds left until your ban is lifted. Do not attempt to create a secondary account to get around this ban. If we find evidence of you doing so all of your accounts will be terminated.

Reason for ban: You have been banned for creating a spam thread, entitled "Kool Kids Klan." Repeated offenses of this nature may result in account deletion.

Please read the BBS rules.

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What the fuck? That isn't spam, you fucking cunts, that's gold.


The Grand Return

2009-04-17 23:30:08 by BestFlashEver

Greetings, loyal followers.

Those of you reading this now obviously worship the very ground I walk upon, which is entirely within the realm of understanding. After all, I am a God and with that comes the title of BestFlashEver.

Ah, but the path I walk is a tiring one. He who says that to be a God is divine has never achieved the status I have myself - nay, it is a trial above all. I have but little energy to expend here for the rest I must save. Though fear not, mortals, I have not forgotten you nor your brethren.

I have simply come here to announce that I still exist and the great tributes you all pay to me on a daily basis will not be forgotten when I am considering admitting your pathetic little souls into my playground. So repent, and be not gay.